Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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