Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
