i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I could teleport
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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