Yo dont text me then not text me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
