I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
