Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
