Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
