Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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