Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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