How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
