you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
