The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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