is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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