I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
