just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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