it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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