WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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