i permit you to call me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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