there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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