Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
