Your dad touched me again.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
