OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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