i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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