I want to stick my p in your. b.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
