I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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