we have officially lost it.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
