he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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