i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
