That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
