Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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