Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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