I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Come share oat with me in your robe
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
