Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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