I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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