thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
