I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
