I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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