i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
