Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
