belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
