I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize