yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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