There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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