I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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