No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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