Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
