How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
