Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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  (202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (4858)
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  (760): View more from California

  My girlfriend figured out who you are.

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  (760): My girlfriend figured out who you are. http://tfl.nu/038w
  Replies (16) Good night (679) Bad night (4059)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless

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  (816): I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless http://tfl.nu/8o2w
  Replies (21) Good night (3599) Bad night (1000)
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  (818): View more from California

  what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?

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  (818): what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/e114
  Replies (47) Good night (5674) Bad night (756)
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  (916): View more from California

  I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"

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  (916): I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much" http://tfl.nu/mqwd
  Replies (47) Good night (4949) Bad night (828)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

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  (940): Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever. http://tfl.nu/989r
  Replies (18) Good night (5800) Bad night (1791)
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  (408): View more from California

  Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

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  (408): Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this http://tfl.nu/4kx4
  Replies (16) Good night (5138) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

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  (973): can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces.. http://tfl.nu/3uan
  Replies (6) Good night (2816) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.

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  (404): It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated. http://tfl.nu/7ila
  Replies (6) Good night (3007) Bad night (726)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs

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  (414): Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs http://tfl.nu/ace8
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (643)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

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  (403): also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy. http://tfl.nu/tn0z
  Replies (15) Good night (3823) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  #1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE

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  (518): #1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE http://tfl.nu/txty
  Replies (15) Good night (4068) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Bro? You just made it a target.

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  (407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2
  Replies (8) Good night (2438) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween

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  (860): Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween http://tfl.nu/izhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2223) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....

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  (613): He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad.... http://tfl.nu/p0ok
  Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (797)

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