We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..