Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
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Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"