Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia . http://tfl.nu/fovz
  Replies (12) Good night (1228) Bad night (2014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card. http://tfl.nu/3mw9
  Replies (66) Good night (867) Bad night (3103) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish. http://tfl.nu/ywfu
  Replies (62) Good night (5357) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)

  (708): View more from Illinois

  WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :) (708): WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE http://tfl.nu/vm9y
  Replies (9) Good night (5961) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months. http://tfl.nu/isje
  Replies (9) Good night (3621) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0bv4
  Replies (54) Good night (6866) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious http://tfl.nu/z2uj
  Replies (7) Good night (945) Bad night (2288) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms http://tfl.nu/pddu
  Replies (6) Good night (2823) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc
  Replies (8) Good night (2721) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9ftp
  Replies (8) Good night (1538) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there. http://tfl.nu/9sg3
  Replies (6) Good night (314) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day. http://tfl.nu/rkpb
  Replies (6) Good night (466) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see http://tfl.nu/gnrw
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits http://tfl.nu/cv3j
  Replies (18) Good night (1451) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN. http://tfl.nu/d27u
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt

Randomize