wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.