Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while

(202): View more from Washington, DC

woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face

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(202): just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while (202): woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face http://tfl.nu/fujm

Replies (11) Good night (796) Bad night (3284)
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(630): View more from Illinois

just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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(630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew

Replies (13) Good night (444) Bad night (2344) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.

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(518): i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke. http://tfl.nu/bbix

Replies (24) Good night (4096) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on

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(630): i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on http://tfl.nu/rm4w

Replies (17) Good night (5219) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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(512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p

Replies (16) Good night (699) Bad night (5176) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.

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(570): I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse. http://tfl.nu/2dei

Replies (8) Good night (3020) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?

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(917): Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her? http://tfl.nu/rn89

Replies (17) Good night (7084) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.

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(781): his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me. http://tfl.nu/jba1

Replies (5) Good night (2178) Bad night (808)
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(248): View more from Michigan

All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.

(269): View more from Michigan

Gonna go for any of them?

(248): View more from Michigan

Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.

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(248): All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go. (269): Gonna go for any of them? (248): Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us. http://tfl.nu/3pp6

Replies (33) Good night (4554) Bad night (777)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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(802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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(610): he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high http://tfl.nu/1b4w

Replies (2) Good night (1493) Bad night (715)
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(253): View more from Washington

at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

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(253): at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito? http://tfl.nu/ycrz

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(251): View more from Alabama

My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

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(251): My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay http://tfl.nu/tgej

Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.

(360): View more from Washington

1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you

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(206): You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits. (360): 1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you http://tfl.nu/1254

Replies (8) Good night (2134) Bad night (249)
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(714): View more from California

I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging

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(714): I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging http://tfl.nu/ow1d

Replies (3) Good night (164) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt

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