oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I skipped work to stalk him.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.