you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We are two peas in an std pod
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Less talking, more tequila
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
