So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
