wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
