I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's shark week go big or go home
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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