well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize