I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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