You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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