I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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