winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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