why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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