Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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