those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
