How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize